I was a good friend. I'd listen and listen some more.  Then I'd give my friend whatever support they needed to feel happy, whole, and validated. I'd offer whatever I had to help them. I'd be there when they called me no matter the hour day or night. I'd love them unconditionally and withold judgment no matter what mess they found themselves in this time. I'd give them my heart and my loyalty. I never asked much in return.

Then it happened. I had my crisis. Whether it is a crisis of faith or a mid-life crisis or some entirely different state of emotional distress, I don't really know. About 18 months ago I experienced this realization that my reality was nothing like the life I had planned for myself. I started focusing on the things I gave up, the opportunities lost, the dreams unfufilled. I began to feel trapped and confined.  I started second guessing every decision I'd made. I started to wonder if my life had meaning or purpose. I don't exactly know what you call that.
 
What I do know is that it has tested my friendships and separated the few that deserve my love. As I turned to long time friends for support I was shocked to find they no longer had time for me. This crisis has driven away friends that I would have bet the bank were my best friends through thick and thin. I was there for them. I was loyal to them. I kept their secrets. But now that I needed to share my pain and vent my feelings, where were they?

I feel in some ways like I've lost so much.  I tell myself that real friends don't use you for their emotional needs and refuse to return the favor. I tell myself that the few people I have left really do love me flaws and all.  But what about those other people who I believed were my friends? Were we ever really friends? Did we ever really connect emotionally? Did I just get used?

Now self-pity is a luxury that I can't afford. I realize that my husband  is an amazing man. The best friend I could ever want. My son is all I could ever hope for in a child. I adore him and I know its mutual. Dylan and I share this connection that transcends the mother child bond. Stephanie and Michelle are like sisters to me and I'm so grateful to them. These people have proven themselves to me. They love me even when I don't love myself.

My friend posted about how annoying mechanical/computer malfunctions at the checkout counters can be but for me the real aggravation is the humans who can't perform their job correctly. Shortly after Christmas I had an experience that pushed me to the breaking point. I am by nature the people pleaser, the peacemaker, the compromise negotiator. I am not a daunting gladiator who enters the mall ready to battle evil sales associates at Victoria's Secret, Gap and Hot Topic. But the day came last December that  I was firece and refused to yield the battlefield that was Bath & Body Works.

The incident at bath and body works is long and complicated but it goes something like this.
1. I went to the mall and shopped at bath and body works. I bought about $100 worth of products for $30. They were all on advertised sales. I get the company e-mails plus the mailed out coupons so I know the advertised sales. Whenever I'm unsure about a sale --like is it only over certain scents or whatever I ask a sales associate. I did that.

2. So about two hours later I'm at the Barnes & Noble and right next door is a different Bath & Body Works. I go in and see they had a better selection of some of the sale items so I decide to stock up and get some Wallflowers air fresheners. They had a big sale display in one corner of the store. I also found more along the back wall. I asked if ALL scents were on sale. The sales associate said "Yes maam they are all on sale today."  I ask "ALL on sale for $5 right. "  She says yes. I say that's great because then I can buy them here and not have to fight traffic at the mall. We laugh about the mall parking lot.

3. Then I go up to the checkout. The lines are almost to the  front door so I've been waiting patiently. The checkout clerk rings up the first Wallflower for $12.50 and I say "Wait, that didn't ring up on sale." She ignores me and rings two more at this price. I say "Excuse me maam but those are supposed to be $5 and they are ringing up at 12.50. Please stop until we can straighten this out." She says these are on sale 2 for $20. I explained that there is a display saying $5. She tells me her manager hand selected the scents to be sold at $5 and these are not those.

4. No need to be upset even though she ignored my request I'll just explain. I tell her that I just came from the mall and they are ALL $5 there. She smirks and says "This isn't the mall." I tell her I'm aware of that but this is a national chain and advertised specials are valid at all stores in the franchise. She tells me this store does things the way her manager wants them done.

5. I try the logical response to her argument. I tell her that a sales associate at THIS location assured me they were ALL $5. She looks at me and says very loudly "IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU THAT, IF YOU TALKED TO SOMEONE, then which person was it? Where are they now?"

6. I'm embarrassed and upset now. Ready to walk out but I decide to stand strong. "If I didn't know better, I would think that you are accusing me of lying. I'm sure you wouldn't do something that rude because when she comes over and tells you that she told me they are on sale you are going to owe me an apology." She continued with "Well where is this mystery sales girl?" I see her and she comes over and tells the check out lady that she told me they were ALL $5.

7. The checkout woman is clearly pissed off. She does not apologize. She grumbles "Great! Now I guess I have to give them to you for that price."

8. I've had enough so I tell her that she can take the wallflowers and everything else I was going to buy and keep them because I won't spend another dime in an establishment that allows its employees to be so ignorant and disrespectful to the customers. She says "Well I'm sorry if I offended you sweetheart that wasn't my intention."

9. Sweetheart????? Seriously, did she just call me swetheart? I say "Oh please! Of course it was your intention. You called me a liar loudly in front of everyone in this store. After your coworker just proved I was being honest, you still act like you are doing me a grand favor just to wait on me. Well if that is how Bath and Body Works treats customers I can tell you I will NEVER do business with them again. What's more I'll be contacting corporate so they know that this store's manager doesn't honor nationally advertised specials. In fact I want to speak to your manager directly right now."

10. Sales clerk gets visibly upset and tells me that she's going to give me the wallflowers today complimentary so that I will be a happy customer and come back and shop there again.

11. I tell her I don't care if she gives me the whole damn bag of products free I want to see her manager. She tells me the manager just left 5 minutes ago. I ask for her manager's cell phone number so that I can call her before she gets out of the parking lot.

12. The check out woman starts to tear up and says here take it all-- Everything just take it and go. I tell her to stop with the foolish crying. I tell her that there are things in this world worth crying about and being put in her place for disrespecting a customer isn't one of them.

13. So John and Dylan are just standing there dumbfounded because I tend to be the passive one, the "let's go quietly and not deal with this business" kind of customer. John whispers, "Good Lord. Jody you made her cry." I said "No honey, the fact that right now there are 100 other people that need work and can do her job without being a bitch to customers is what made her cry. The fact that she is scared shitless that I'm coming in tomorrow and speaking with her manager is what inspired those tears."

Not one of my finer moments. Although if I had been that passionate and assertive over something other than air fresheners maybe I wouldn't feel so bad. Am I the customer from hell?